Alice Bear (The Evil Genius) is a gloriously unhinged synth-pop opera that introduces Phluffee’s first (and most dangerous) breakout star. Equal parts dictator, deity, and plush toy, Alice Bear is rewriting the laws of physics with a golden submarine, invisible shark, and an army of questionable sidekicks. This is pop at its most theatrical — sinister, ridiculous, and fabulous.
Lyrics:
[Verse 1]
Deep in a lair, in a world unaware,
A tiny bear plots with a menacing glare.
She’s got a gold tank, a heart in her paws,
And a mind full of mayhem, breaking all laws.
[Pre-Chorus]
She whispers in shadows, she laughs at the sky,
Her ninja slugs fail, but they still have to try!
Her shark is invisible—well, almost, she swears,
(Except for the bones, but who really cares?)
[Chorus]
Alice Bear! Ruler of the universe!
Bow before her, or things will get worse!
Volcanoes erupt when she snaps her claws,
She’s rewriting physics, rewriting the laws!
[Verse 2]
She once had some pugs, she once had some meerkats,
But loyalty wavers when minions go splat.
Her submarine’s golden, her throne made of jewels,
She’s richer than nations, but still breaking rules.
[Pre-Chorus]
She’s Buddha, she’s Jesus, she’s Thatcher, she’s Trump,
She’s Starmer, she’s Mother Teresa, the chump!
She controls them all in a human disguise,
With a flick of her paw, the world’s hypnotized!
[Chorus]
Alice Bear! The world’s in her claws!
She’s taking over—forget human laws!
She’s got a gold empire, a plan in her head,
You might not know it, but you’ve already fled!
[Bridge – Spoken, sinister and dramatic]
“I AM ALICE! GOD OF GOLD AND MAYHEM!
MY MINIONS MAY FALL, BUT MY WILL NEVER BREAKS!
BOW BEFORE ME OR FACE THE WRATH…
OF MY INCOMPLETE INVISIBLE SHARK!”
[Chorus – Finale]
Alice Bear! Genius of doom!
Taking over from her underground room!
One world’s not enough, she’s aiming for more,
She’s got the whole universe left to explore!
[Outro – Whispered, eerie fadeout]
“One day… you’ll all see.
I am everything… and everything is me…”